oh my god i'm updating and it hasn't been 6 months to a year! o.o lol so i'm not going to new jersey. go figure. plans never seem to work out anymore... i officially moved back in with zack like 3 days after my last journal lol but we're stuck with another roommate and he sucks >.< we pay 2/3 rent for the bedroom >.> meh... what's done is done. i get vacation hours at work now =] they're willing to pay me for 6 days of not being there lol no clue what to do with the hours though.

i've been doing a lot of thinking lately. about everything and nothing all at once. i haven't done this much thinking since highschool heh. i'm starting to feel like i'm stuck... i just need a change. desperately. it's just kinda hard to do without the funds for it.

my birthday is creeping up on me. soon i'll be 21 and i'll have a reason to go out again that should be nice. i never go anywhere anymore lol oh! and i chopped my hair off again =] 7 1/2 inches gone lol no, it's not super short, but i'm thinking about getting it cut a little bit shorter. just another inch or so. 2 tops.

i pretty much stopped talking to my mother. long story, not gonna bore you with it. not speaking to my brother either. Riley's getting big. haven't seen Seth in forever and a day =[ i miss my nephews...

my sister had another surgery last week. the doctor thinks he's finally done with her nose. hopefully he finally got her pallate fixed too.

does anyone want a cat? he's well behaved for the most part. the only thing he does wrong is clawing the furniture, but it's not that bad. i love my kitty dearly, but my allergies have been getting really bad lately and i think it's time to give in...

so i figured since it's been almost 5 months since my last journal, i should probably give an update lol

zack and i got back together at the end of january. things are going great now =] we're kinda living together again, but not exactly cuz most of my stuff is still at my parents house. speaking of which, they had to move to south roxana cuz they lost their other house... but everything is ok with them now. my brother moved to alabama, but it's not working out so they're supposed to be coming back next week which means i'm losing the car i've been driving. zack's trying really hard to fix his car so we won't have to use my mom's truck cuz that's a pain in the ass x.x it's only taken him about 300 bucks in the last two days >< but it's almost done now. HOPEFULLY my car will be functional soon. it's really kinda sad that i bought it in february and i still haven't gotten to drive it yet >.> lol ummmm OH! my brother's girlfriend is pregnant again heh so he's just turned 23 and is now expecting his third... blah... anywho, zack and i are considering moving to new jersey. he's got a friend out there that can offer him either of 2 mechanic jobs making really good money. we're gonna try to take a trip out there to check things out first before we make any permanent decisions.

i got my 2 year evaluation at walmart a couple weeks ago. starting june 29th, my official hire date, i'll be making 10.25/hour which is awesome but sucks at the same time cuz i was kinda wanting to get away from midnights cuz i never sleep anymore but there's no way in hell i can find an entry-level job making that much just starting out... but then again, if zack and i do go to new jersey, he'll be making enough money that i probably wouldn't have to actually work. though i would imagine i still would just so i'd have something to do. but then it won't really matter where or how much i make heh

so yeah... anyone else have any news?? i've been waaaaaaaay out of the loop lately lol i'd like to get back in touch with people while i still have a chance =]

tagged by

1] Post these rules.
2] Each tagged person should post 8 facts of themselves.
3] Tagged people should write a journal\blog about these facts.
4] In the end tag and name 5 people.
5] Go to their dA pages and comment saying that they are tagged.
so here goes:

1 i'm recently single again
2 i'm pretty sure my mom doesn't want me living in her house anymore
3 i switched to midnights at walmart
4 i am ungodly confused with life
5 i need to go back to school but i have no idea what to go for
6 i've been sleeping in my nephew's racecar bed lol
7 i like chocolate milk =]
8 fire is pretty


so yeah... um, i tag...

i should be switching to midnights at work soon!!! i am so excited!! i won't have to sleep alone all the time anymore xD and and and we'll save in gas cuz then me and zack can ride together lol not that it matters right now cuz his car's broken, but that's not the point lol so i'll be working 10pm-7am and i'll make an extra dollar an hour =] so 9.85 mon-sat and 10.85 on sunday o.o i so can't wait lol

oh, and as for my last journal, i'm feeling much better now. i'm eating normally again and the queeziness is gone =] and i'm eating healthier cuz of it too so it did me a lot of good lol

things are starting to look up money-wise too =] we're getting caught up on all our bills (except my credit card ) and it's gonna stay caught up too lol

for those of you that don't already know, i have another nephew too =] his name is Riley and he is soooooo cute!! i'll never understand how my brother keeps having such adorable kids xD i know i know, i'm mean, but i'm allowed to say that cuz he's my brother lol

in case you haven't noticed yet, i'm a bit on the energetic side tonight lol i dropped zack off at work a little over an hour ago and i need sleep, so naturally, i can't sleep lol but oh well, i'll survive =]

i don't know what my problem is anymore.. it's like, i'm fine one minute, and the next thing i know, i wanna scratch someone's eyes out. luckily for her, i haven't met her yet... i'm bound to run into her eventually though considering i kinda work with her... though she works overnights. she should feel lucky. not to mention i'm lucky if i'm able to eat once a day. something about my stomach just won't let me eat anymore. and if i do, i have to be careful. anything with even just a little bit of excess grease makes my stomach feel like it's going to implode. someone told me earlier that it sounds like i'm having gallbladder attacks... wouldn't that just be so lovely? zack's car broke down, we have no money for even food, our power is about to be shut off, and now i could possibly be having gallbladder problems. that's just the fucking icing on the cake.

*sigh*

my mind has been wandering all over the place lately... probably to places where it doesn't belong heh. don't mind me tonight... i'm just moody and thinking too much...



**update**

i met the girl tonight and let's just say i don't think i have anything to worry about anymore her face already looks like ass so if i did anything to her it would probably improve her appearance